Sikiliza

Violence..  When we talk about living in a culture of violence it is important that recognise that this will manifest in different ways and in our day to day lives. For instance, I have watched people who do not take no for an answer; they simply keep asking and asking and asking... and are tone deaf to see that this isn’t a consenting person at the other end, but simply someone worn down to the bone. I have seen people who bombard past lover’s lives; trying to undermine any hope of their moving on.... Incessantly obsessing about their movements, associations and developments. I have also watched hurt and disgruntled ex-lovers in so much pain there whole lives are defined by what was done to them... every waking minute is spent angry, regretful or in tears, a kind of paralysis...life stands still for them yet the rest of the whole world has moved on... it becomes the way we are instinctively  distrusting of our friends, associations and potential partners and some...

Self portrait - Oct 2018 In this my fortieth year, a very significant year.... I acknowledge the many experiences that serve as deep lessons. Two stick out. On health, wellness and caring for the self.  I started the year quite unwell from running myself to the bone with non-stop working, travelling and being in service and care for everyone except myself. My body and my mind came crashing to a halt and I was rudely reminded how frail life really is. Shuttling back and forth along hospital corridors, in between tough medical regimes, battle exchanges with my angry body, firm and candid conversations with doctors made things clear.   In order to live and live fully, not just the simple motions of day to day rigours...   I needed to really prioritise where, why and how I got to spend my finite energy and time in this embodiment and in my remaining time on earth. And you know what, I chose to prioritise things, experiences and people that are inherently ki...

Sleep is taking over My mind slowly ebbs towards that haze space.... This is the moment I have been waiting for all day When my life and dreams fuse into one  f antasy magical world. That paradise where I can be and do as I please...   So where will my dreams take me tonight? To fly and soar in the weightless sky? To the shores of my favourite spot by the lakeshore To that spot on the hilltop I love to sit and look down To a place that is a vastness of peace and silence   An escape from the drudgery of realness Bring these dreams of mine to life Do not rouse me from my escape I pray I never loose my gift to dream, it is my escape.   So long...my journey begins..

My word, it is very cold in Nairobi lately…. As I slink into the warmth of my blankets I am at a place in life when I wonder, when did I actually start feeling this cold? Almost 25 years ago I managed to do more than getting by in boarding school in one of Kenya’s wet, cloudy and coldest towns Limuru with an altitude of over 2,500 metres…I mean it was pretty routine for daily cold bucket baths, zero visibility fog days, lots of schoolmates used to warmer climates ambling about with frost bitten toes and fingers…and those what-nots that did not bother me much… Currently, I have a warm comforter in every room except the bathroom. We walk around wrapped with shukas, in warm woolly socks in the house….I have even taken to wrapping myself in a fleece blanket before sinking in the cold sheets in bed…. This is rather serious considering I have always had a strong resilience to cold. I was that person who could jump, dive or walk into in an icy swimming pool no matter what; or r...

My love, I am beginning to think that the idea  I had of not knowing how to dance is all in my mind… How else can I explain the flawless rhythm of our lovemaking? When my pulse and your heart beat is in sync... And how my heart skips at simply the sight of you… When you embrace me close and how I enjoy rubbing against you… Writhing and entwining in and around each other Never missing a beat, Wordless; This dance of ours is nothing short of a miracle. But I also need to ask who invented kisses; Because I suspect you had something to do with this How else can I explain the near perfection that are your kisses The kind of kiss that stills the time All I can do is…breathe My love when your lips connect with mine it is incredible… I mentally remind myself to keep my eyes open the next time As soon as you reach towards me The anticipation of delicious sensations Send my eyes shut tight, feelings like this can only be p rocess...

On #IWD I edited an info-graph that for me often reflects the subjugation of women's contribution in society because we angle it through a male lens for social ratification.... And so because someone ( a man) asked (twice) 'what was the harm' of the unedited version I toyed with the idea of saying google is your friend mate  and moving on but then decided to repost the graphic and a small blurb...please indulge me.... “....Language is deeply political. A lot of what you are “not getting” is also from a place where there are no perceptible “ill intentions” in the unedited version of this info-graph.....but that is the genius-ness of sexism and ageism in language and in its ability to be pervasive, trivialising and undermining in its delivery. “Language is a great carrie r of stereotyping and great place to assert socially sanction power of what is a ‘normalised standard’ of genius-ness and this is what makes this post extremely condescending. Ageism or more ...

I am just sitting here listening to the putter of the rain outside I think of the distance between us and try to remember, you and your smile. When I am with you I think of how you are part of many transitions In my body, my mind and my heart.... All of them turn me on way bright Everything of mine is putty in your arms… Touching or connecting with you energizes me You recharge every cell in my being. You restore me You heal me You fill me You make me whole Your love, your memories your dreams Envelop me so wonderfully and then; I am filled with your you-ness. Pinning you on the pillows as I kiss you is exhilarating... I can feel you giving yourself to me Opening, letting go.... Its such a precious feeling Holding all your vulnerability in my hands I never ever want to let you or this go... You are my muse My obsession My everything-ness. I love watching you, touching, bumping into you, rubbing off on you,  talking to you, smelling you lis...