Sikiliza

I do not know when and how it happened, but part of me found herself standing and staring at the shoreline of a wide-ranging river. The other me was left abandoned right across the other side of the river shore. Forgotten over time, she faded away, grew quieter and quieter now a mere shadow of former herself. Catching a glimpse of this memory I felt a sense of immense loss as the split sides of myself stared back at each other, separated by the loud, raging water.  Endeavouring to make sense of whatever was at the root of this severing, I felt lost. I looked down at the ground I stood on, willing it to speak and give me some answers.  Silence responded with reverberating loudness. The fragmentation was overwhelming. I felt like a hollow and broken version of myself.   I lifted my hands as if reading my palms would help uncover truths about my predicament. Nothing was forthcoming. I contemplated for a moment to think if it was answers or the right questions I sought out....

  Photo by Sikiliza follow on instagram @msikiliza It may sound very cliché to say that this moment feels very poignant, but alas it is true.  I find myself more and more taking a new route to unknown destinations …while this unfolding feels right, it is still rather unsettling. A new form of adulting sets in that offers more room to part ways from attachments I have grown accustomed to over time…things, ideas, people…so many ways in which I clung was so unquestionably entrenched in my psyche, it was hard to pry them apart and separate them from my sense of self … I have been internally busy as I reclaim me once more… and with that has come a necessary major surgery of sorts… In my personal life I am quieter, a lot less inclined to respond to everything, every time or be available all the time.  I say no much more and that has been so liberating! I am much more open to surprises that spontaneity offers… I grit my teeth much less as I endure ceding control,    em...