Sikiliza

Hello 2024! It's a few days short of my birthday (yay), and I am turning 46 and appreciate being here and being alive. This year, amidst the whirlwind of shifts and transitions, I find myself taking stock and embracing my journey of self-discovery and acceptance that comes with being in my forties. This particular year has different quality and energy to it as health revelations finally come my way after years of questioning. For one, I lost my hair due to alopecia - it was so dramatic and while I am now totally loving my bald look, the grieving and loss is real. Power to those folks struggling with hair loss and reinveting themselves in ways filled with self-compasssion. One of the most ridiculous things people come up to me to say about my bald head is.. ‘ You are so bold to cut all your hair...’ or ‘I could never pull off the bald look’ or worse still ‘ You have the for head it, it would not suit me..’ My piece of advise if you are trying to connect and be nice as you come acros...

Lately, I’ve been internally busy and rather neglectful in writing, but that doesn’t mean life and its vibrancy around me changed. While I try to make sense of things around going through perimenopause and find my new rhythms, there has been much to be grateful for. I apparently now have a new, updated look with no hair. There is a saying I will make up today… “If you need to cut off all your hair, your head shape will suit a bald look.” Now that I have accepted this state of affairs, I feel better and enough. But more about this and the adventures of hormones in another post. Someone challenged me last December in a coaching session to make this year count. It’s about time for me to visualise and see through some of my dreams and ambitions. When we come into this world, we often get swept up in the dreams and visions of others, so much so that remaining true to our unique sense of purpose gets lost along the way. So here I am deliberately going through the lost and found box and regat...

Much younger me at Sarova Panafric Hotel in the early 80s My early childhood memories are sprinkled with moments when I was left to my own devices. I was used, no scratch that,    I was resigned (is a more accurate description) to being left behind or on my own in the house for long stretches of time. It was not unusual to be the last to be picked up at school when each of my folks thought the other was doing the school run…the anxiety of being on the school grounds for hours on end lessened when I was older and able to walk home on my own. You see, the age gap between my siblings and I was more pronounced. We grew up in different eras. By the time I was knee-high, they were off to college and boarding school and so away from home for most of the time each year.   My folks were each grappling with their own internal existential crises at the time of my growing up.    They both had vastly different ways to cope that seemed to drift them further apart. Mum, a bor...

Tethering to the present moment Declaring 2023 a challenging year would be, by all means, an understatement. I'm thrilled to put it behind me. That said, I do feel there is something to appreciate about dealing with such numerous adversities… we did a test run of my resolve, and I am glad to say as I write this, I am still standing with a few battle scars to show for it. One of my most profound observations this year is my renewed admiration for my body and its fighting spirit. As Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estés calls the body, our consort and co-warrior. This year, I paid more attention to how it sought safety and connection and its impact on my day-to-day life. One resolution I made earlier this year was to become a student again and learn and listen to my body much more. The journey so far has been a gratifying experience - the notion of restoring wholeness rather than simply seeking a cure makes more sense to me.  In my experience, solely seeking cures is such a sinking hole because ...

Lately, I realise that the notion of aliveness has been an ambient theme drifting around my orbit for the longest time. Now more than ever, this theme plays a more prominent role in my every day as it influences the relationships I care the most about.     Each day I arise, I do my best to be truly present in the moment… for my existence to reflect in my work and play and to keep myself devoted to the people and causes that mean so much to me.   I attempt to master the art of aliveness by remaining rooted and grounded. But alas, how do you uphold your footing when the ground underneath keeps constantly shifting?  As I seek balance and harmony, I realise I need to cast my anchor from within. So, over time, with a lot of ongoing patience, I am discovering ways to reconnect with my inner feet that keep me upright, light and nimble. This journey of self-discovery and compassionate introspection has expanded my questions and responses to life.  But eish, those lesson...