Wednesday, 24 May 2017

Behind my Smile



More of me knowing more of you
Weaving through increasingly familiar paths 
To the place our souls connect and reconnect 
Over and over again.
The joy this journey gives me unsettles me in equal measure
In that space where time stretches or stands still 
Where you see me raw naked open and broken
With all the battle wounds of past hurts throbbing
And, you choose to love the fragility I am.
Inevitably and irrevocably changing me
Healing, restoring and soothing dulling aches.
Passion, hope, devotion soars to new heights within me,
And the me you increasingly know and love
Is reborn radiating that joy in my soul you infused
By the mere mention, touch and existence of you
And the only hint of this not so small miracle 
Is the secret behind the smile on my lips and these few words.
So, thank you.


Sunday, 30 April 2017

Choosing (how) to Live.... some sense-abilities

Eldoret, Feb 26 2017

listen to the sound of silence

Sit unobtrusively around it, 

Find that soothing vibrant calm voice of YOU. 


look intensely into the darkness

Stare into the bottomless-ness as it drowns you,

Release yourself into the black warm embracing YOU. 


Let yourself feel everything everywhere

The wholesome depraved and dreadful, 

Sensation embodies life because you are, YOU. 


taste an assortment of varied blends of moments 

Devour both parallels of everything and nothing-ness

Accept that the unceasing constant here is YOU. 


Pick how you touch those in your life

Open yourself to a world of possibilities,

Bare all the awesomeness of YOU.




Saturday, 22 April 2017

Just a Rant



As a feminist I believe in equality because ‘the boy child’ could really do without a skewered SYSTEM that sets him up for as much failure as it does ‘the girl child’….. and it starts when we have to explain to you that gender roles  are not set in stone but at the backyard of a effed up hierarchal SYSTEM that reduces people have to pick from two opposite sides. For instance the narrow gender roles of so called ‘masculinity’ and ‘femininity’… and we all know you cant be ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ enough its a perpetual aspiration!…. so this crazy SYSTEM keeps making you think and say crap things like "a REAL MAN does xxxx’ or ‘a TOTAL MAN does yyyy’ and effed up things like ‘AS A WOMAN’, you must be xxxx" or nonsense like ‘IMAGINE A WHOLE WOMAN, or as ‘A MOTHER(??)’ and she had the audacity to do yyyy.’

It is a system designed to make you feel inadequate and to make you feel you need to reassert yourself and your identity based on very narrow standards of what you can or cannot do or say or think and by making others look small or bad…..The SYSTEM is designed to subjugate someone over the other be it across social class, race, age, within and without gender…it will never be enough, once you are this, you need to be that, once you are a that you need to be something else!…….So please the world is not webs of binaries … its 7 billion people and a spectrum of possibilities and the one thing we could perhaps do to start to ground ourselves is RESPECT each other.

Monday, 17 October 2016

Feminist Chronicles - Appreciate your Boss Day




One of the most biggest lessons I have learnt this year has been to be painstakingly deliberate and strategic in whatever I set out to do and that it has to count for something bigger than just me. I would like to share some of my reflections of tenets I embraced that are helping me with my ambitious goals:


1. Think - Support & Inspiration: One of the most understated pillars we need as activists and as women is support. Support is the unseen companion of late night deadlines, tense and difficult moments and when our bodies and minds are at the brink of letting out.  It gives an extraordinary burst of strength to keep our eye on the ball against our body and mind sensations which are many times stretched to the limits.

What cant we achieve if we know that we have someone who has our back?

Act – Pass it on

Over the months, two formidable feminists told me that after a brief discussion with them on how to strengthen the regional women rights movement they felt reenergised and inspired. I was touched, one of them has been in the movement for over 30 years and to hear that from her made me realise how important it is for us as a movement to pass along enabling support and inspiration in all our interactions with fellow women. It is in some of the conversations that we share; formal or informal that we have an opportunity to meaningfully touch people’s lives.

No matter how big or small passing this as you receive it goes such a long way in a creating a chain reaction that is positive and affirming of ourselves as women.

2. Thinking - Igniting Inner Power: Our inner power when ignited is so transformational it cannot be contained. It glows and radiates outward. It is easy to pick out someone who has found their voice and their power and this coupled with power of solidarity is a force that cannot be stopped. Thanks to the empowering environment, we are slowly keeping the embers of a women’s movement alive and burning for change.

Acting – Reconfiguring Power and Power Relations: Subsequent to some of the capacity building initiatives we have undertaken has resulted in some participants coming up to the resource persons to let them know how the training changed their thinking as individuals, but also talking about the value it lends in enriching their activism work and their organizing to challenge oppressive systems.

In the very same principle of having a generous spirit, we ask them to pass along to those who were not in the room. We need to reconfigure power and in these small steps aggregate in building a revolution.

3. Thinking - Compassion: In a tough world with difficult work cut out for us every day, sometimes forget the more supple sides of our humanity. Compassion allows us to really look, see, connect, understand and appreciate each other better.

Acting – Compassion: When we verbalize compassion we are more sensitive, caring and kind. As feminists it also means ensuring we do not victimize or minimize our own and other people’s circumstances and realities. This has really strengthened my analysis and the approach I take when I interact with partners and collaborators in the movement. It is fed off the fact that my own supervisor looks at me as a whole person and I want to be able to share that in my own work and connections.

4. Thinking - Accountability: Part of support, empowerment and compassion is keeping ourselves as individuals and as a collective accountable. Every so often we need a nudge to remind us our responsibility to be part of social transformation. No movement will grow without work, no work can be transformational without it being something we are accountable for. 

Act – Being Answerable
At the tail end of accountability is taking ownership for what we do. It means developing a good worth ethic devoid of excuses and coping out. With a tight balance of more things to do with very little time; practicing and verbalizing accountability has helped me prioritize, sometimes make very difficult decisions, and to ensure that what is put forward is the best possible body of work with or without the nudges.

All these elements weave delicately into a patterned design way of working that is not only meaningful but also very gratifying for me.

I would therefore like to honor my boss today as her deliberate efforts in creating an enabling environment for me has let this happen.

There is a saying that we stand tall because we stand on the shoulder of giants. As I reflect on my year and my personal and professional growth, one such giant is most definitely my boss.


Happy Appreciate your Boss Day.

Saturday, 10 September 2016

I am, your faithful Lovivore



Blooms from Topkapı Palace Museum June 2016


Over the years life has visibly had its toll on me
My body bears battle scars and visible signs of wear and tear
My mind murky with memories of old hurts and let downs
I see new wrinkles, curves, aches and dimpled parts each day
I sometimes still feel the pain of old wounds and anguish
Like a battleground time absorbs some of the desolation of my banal existence

But then YOU...
You happened in my life
Awakening long forgotten passions
Created new heights of delight and feeling I never imagined
This radical love you give me so unmeasured, unconditional and in bounty
Heals and strokes me so tenderly each day.
It restores my body smoothing over my rough edges
My scabs and less nimble parts of me transformed
I now radiate from the inside out, besotted in your endearments

You reshaped and remolded my weary self
Into an attested lovevivore!
Existing only in the sustenance that is your devotion

I remain forever yours

And in endless gratitude to favourable fates, that brought us together