Thursday, 21 May 2009

Where Do these Managers Come from?? – Rift Valley Sports Club Poor Show Ashford Kimani


I decided to save a trip to the local sports club and make a telephone inquiry after I lost my car park Sticker for 2009 and looked in all my hiding places in vain…..

This is how the bizarre incident went….

“Hi I lost my parking sticker and would like know the process to get a replacement and the penalty for the replacement.” I began.

“Eh ati, I don’t know. You mean you lost yours? Aii that on you have to talk to the Club Secretary its only him who can help you.” said the telephone receptionist.

I laughed internally thinking – she must be new or kidding – why call and ask for management for a routine query that most administrators would know the basic procedure.

But what the hell let me just put the receptionist out of her misery.

“Ok put me through thanks.”

“Yes hallo…” said Club Secretary Ashford Kimani.

“Yes hello, Bwana Secretary, I lost one of my parking sticker for 2009 and would like to know the process of replacing it and what it would cost me I have been referred to you.”

“You are a member or?” he asked.

“Yes” I replied.

“You’re calling from where?”


“Nakuru where?”

Seated in a car near Standard Chartered (Why do people ask this very stupid question????)

“Ok why don’t you come over and I tell you what you need to do.”

“ thanks I am on my way.”

TWENTY FIVE MINUTES LATER in a cab charging waiting fee…I arrive at the club

“Hi am Melissa and I spoke to the C.S on phone told him am coming to see him about replacing a lost sticker.” I ask at one of the manned desks near his office.

“OK am sorry his left but can you wait for him or come back another day?”

“Well I did say I was on my way here – maybe his left a message with one of you?” I asked looking around at the office.

No one budged.

“No kwani he can’t even leave a message with someone when he leaves?”

All the people in the office avert their eyes as though to say to me – SO NOW YOU WANT WHAT???

I head to the reception and ask if they can track the Secretary – they confirm he left the premises for lunch – am looking quite pissed so they quickly offer me his cell phone number to just speak to him directly.

“Hello Sir this is me….I said I was coming to see you about replacing my sticker but they tell me you’ve left….”

“Yes you think work will stop because you said you were coming….” he retorts back.

“okkkkkaaayyy…. But if you needed to step out the very least you could have done is left a message with one of your administrators so things don’t have to be at a stand still when you step out ama what do you think?…”

“And anyway you didn’t ask for an appointment! So you don’t expect me to wait for you….anyway go talk to my secretary I left her a message…”

“You mean Triza at the reception or??”

“That is not my secretary!” (So how the hell am I supposed to know am dying to ask but didnt?)

“Bwana Secretary I don’t think your being very nice or polite you know ….”

“Work cannot stop because you said you were coming….I was called outside and I am busy.”

(Cutlery clicking in the phone background….yeah right busy got that…)


“Ok let me talk to Catherine…” I hang up.


“Hi are you Catherine? The Club Secretary said you have my message about the process of replacing a car sticker.”

“Me? No he didn’t tell me anything. Let me find out.”

She walks out and calls him on his cell phone. She comes back after a few minutes.

“OK if you lost your sticker then we cannot help you. We only issue two maximum that’s what he had said.”

I look at her….wondering whether to scream.

So I called and inquired if it was possible….they said come we tell you how….then I get there and he tells his secretary to tell me “sorry its not possible to get a replacement!” they could have saved me the trouble and said that on phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walk off instead.

That’s a regular Nakuru “manager” power trip for you….no wonder the Rift Valley Sports club standards are down to the dogs…..and they cut the trees! But that’s a rant for another day…

Poor show Bwana Secretary …very telling for Club Members….

PS. Members, where did we get this guy from????

Monday, 18 May 2009

When Time Stays Still

When Time Stays Still

At night everything transforms….

A new world emerges on the other side of my window

Lush shady trees morph into grotesque shadowy monsters

Rustling as the wind picks up speed with an eerie howl

Like a dirge from restless spirit singing and mocking me

I feel eyes staring in from the night as I lay still on my bed

I feel surrounded somehow


A menacing hunter waiting for the right moment to get me

Darkness swallows up and devours everything around me

For a moment I wonder if my eyes are shut or not

So I blink

And see nothing-ness

I lay there waiting

In the dead of night even time stands still.

The gust is here again and the trees sway

Creaking as they bow to wind gods passing

My heart beat pounds so loud I think they can hear it

Sweat dropping on my brow

They smell my fear

How long till merciful sleep takes me to a safe refuge

How long till I swim away from this deep sea of shadows

How long till the first crack of light

How long till the next frightful night