Sikiliza

Violence..  When we talk about living in a culture of violence it is important that recognise that this will manifest in different ways and in our day to day lives. For instance, I have watched people who do not take no for an answer; they simply keep asking and asking and asking... and are tone deaf to see that this isn’t a consenting person at the other end, but simply someone worn down to the bone. I have seen people who bombard past lover’s lives; trying to undermine any hope of their moving on.... Incessantly obsessing about their movements, associations and developments. I have also watched hurt and disgruntled ex-lovers in so much pain there whole lives are defined by what was done to them... every waking minute is spent angry, regretful or in tears, a kind of paralysis...life stands still for them yet the rest of the whole world has moved on... it becomes the way we are instinctively  distrusting of our friends, associations and potential partners and some...

For many women-identifying queer-folk, finding and folding in queer spaces is so emancipating. These are spaces to finally breathe, free from constant hostile heterosexist gaze and oppressiveness. In spaces like this love is radical and nurturing and fostered deliberately to undo tightly woven misogynistic arrays – It is women loving other women as a political act. These spaces quickly become a vital life-link for so many who have are broken and battled with rejection, isolation, prejudice, violence and shaming our bodies, identities of non-normative-ness. Queer spaces especially those embracing feminist ideals are viewed as sacred, intense and revolutionary.   More importantly, these spaces are considered safe. Queer spaces morph into our chosen family, our tribe and the place we metamorphose into a validated, transformed, empowered version of ourselves. Sadly, not all queer spaces are safe. Sometimes queer spaces end up replicating the same toxic oppressions...