Violence by Any Other Name....

Violence.. 

When we talk about living in a culture of violence it is important that recognise that this will manifest in different ways and in our day to day lives. For instance, I have watched people who do not take no for an answer; they simply keep asking and asking and asking... and are tone deaf to see that this isn’t a consenting person at the other end, but simply someone worn down to the bone. I have seen people who bombard past lover’s lives; trying to undermine any hope of their moving on.... Incessantly obsessing about their movements, associations and developments. I have also watched hurt and disgruntled ex-lovers in so much pain there whole lives are defined by what was done to them... every waking minute is spent angry, regretful or in tears, a kind of paralysis...life stands still for them yet the rest of the whole world has moved on... it becomes the way we are instinctively  distrusting of our friends, associations and potential partners and sometimes this rubs off on us and we are so embittered we pay this hurt forward on others or are deceitful and faithless to others because of what happened to us .. we constantly bring to the table and offer a front seat to our exes ghosts and their actions and at some point it becomes hazy blur if we are reliving lives with our exes, we are in the present or we have evolved to a version of our exes....you push people away particularly those who can offer an alternative safe and violence-free (read as drama free) life because we sometimes hide violence in terms like 'drama'....we are stuck in the past and sometimes we are left stuck there and are completely unable to connect with the here and now...its gets very lonely for many here.... 

Then we have folks who are fixated with what they want and will stop at nothing to get it. They are prepared to out-nice, hurt, cajole, play victim, manipulate situations to their favor, they bully, punish with silent treatment if they don't get their way, give half-truths, allude to others that there is more to your friendship than meets the eye, are very extra in trying to destroy your friendships, associations  or simply people you like as they are considered ‘threats.’

Just a few examples but this shows that our lives are constantly barraged by a culture of violence and that violence as you can see is not just physical... in fact the most pervasive forms of violence do not  take shape in physical and sexual  manifestations ...its the maltreatment and the abuse that is more obscure and it is trivialised by most.... be particularly conscious and introspective about this in our lives, it is the first step in being accountable to ourselves as individuals and a collective in fighting to end and not perpetuating all forms of violence. It is possible to live free of violence but it starts with me and you and a deeper consciousness  to interrupt and stop and step away from the pattern of abuse and violence. Support a friend in this, its hard fucky work.