Sikiliza

Self portrait - Oct 2018 In this my fortieth year, a very significant year.... I acknowledge the many experiences that serve as deep lessons. Two stick out. On health, wellness and caring for the self.  I started the year quite unwell from running myself to the bone with non-stop working, travelling and being in service and care for everyone except myself. My body and my mind came crashing to a halt and I was rudely reminded how frail life really is. Shuttling back and forth along hospital corridors, in between tough medical regimes, battle exchanges with my angry body, firm and candid conversations with doctors made things clear.   In order to live and live fully, not just the simple motions of day to day rigours...   I needed to really prioritise where, why and how I got to spend my finite energy and time in this embodiment and in my remaining time on earth. And you know what, I chose to prioritise things, experiences and people that are inherently ki...

  Phalaenopsis orchid I once spoke about the phases in my life when I suffer night terrors. I was terrified of peeking through the window to see the flickers of the lights in the dark; to me they looked and seemed like macabre and grotesque eyes peering in as I lay in bed; watching and staring. I found safety in covering my face with bed linen from the exposure of the night air. I felt a sense of safety in shutting my eyes tight to shut the windows of my soul from the invasion of lurking evil. Mercifully sleep would take me. My nightmares and terrors made me a handful of a child to deal especially when everyone was exhausted and patience quotas were frayed thin. My mother was the only person who could handle my traumatised  self. For one she always sat next to me listened to the gory details of my frightful dreams. As I described the depravity of the monsters that terrorised  me she listened deeply. She did not interrupt or question me as though to fact check ...