Sikiliza

I love Mondays…… I have to tell you how I acquired some two new best friends.... CID officers in Nairobi Central Police Station. This all happened on Monday so I just want to reiterate the fact that Mondays are in fact my favorite day of the week…..A feat that I realize is unique to me…but then again, I am Sikiliza and have been known to have macabre and weird tendencies… It all started when I was stopped dramatically (with sting-operation-like qualities) in the streets of Nairobi on Monday morning and suspected of being a car thief…err yes I know how silly it sounds…Sikiliza a supposed car thief. For those who know and love me and haven’t fallen off their chairs laughing perhaps would recall that I am a certified pedestrian. Not so much because I cant afford to own my dream car…but also because I have never thought of a vehicle an asset (unless I want a ride, but I can count on matatus, cabs or friend’s cars for that) I would much rather buy land or a house frank...

My brother and I crashed a party once in the mid nineties going on at some poshish 5-star hotel poolside in the city. As soon as we got there we saw a bride and groom a bridal party and immediately warmed up to it and immediately felt right at home like we were meant to be there. Wedding receptions are such nice parties to crash because you can pretend to know at least one of the people getting hitched. We notice lots of disapproving stares but our stuff-you attitude got us by…Besides we figured that the only possible reason for the stares was the fact that we were very casually dressed...and that is a real understatement! So the extroverts we were, we decided to give the bride and the groom compliments, hugs and kisses…wishing them the best in their new life. Everyone seemed flustered by the move including the bride and groom who had their jaws open. It did not bother us so much then and immediately proceeded to help ourselves (quite generously I might add) to the well spread food pla...

Pillow fights – those were the only legal fights allowed in the house. We'd send missiles across the living room ducking behind the chairs as the pillows scuttled across the room leaving trails of feather stuffing. It was a delightful game of war me, my brother and sister played staging ourselves on different corners of the sitting room. I was the youngest….the baby sister (kid sister sometimes) at first there was threat that I would win the game because I was the only left handed in the family (and apparently we aim good) but honestly I sucked that the game. My head always popped up from behind the sofa in time to get a pillow hit me square on the face. Usually, the trophy for this game was loads of laughs and teases from the winners to the looser (in this case the one who got hit more) – most of the time I was a sore looser and tears would spring up as soon as the poking fun began and I would run to mama and tell on them. Sometimes to really piss them off I would tell our oldest ...

Never run along corridors. This is a lesson I learnt rather painfully when I was about 10 years old. I ignored my parent's pleas not to run and jump off chairs and doing tumble turns on the carpets….and I was actually quite good at it… They'd go "Don't do this don't do that!" "Act like a lady!"…or "that's going to end up in tears and don't come crying to me when you hurt yourself!" It was like a song. But, I had speed and I was young I felt indestructible. The last thing I needed was someone telling me what I shouldn't be doing…. So one wettish evening we were holed up in the house horribly bored. The rain messed up our play time outside so we were all bursting with hyperactive energy….my mum called out to me while I was in the kitchen making mischief. I shouted back "Cooooming" and promptly zoomed off towards her bedroom. Then she called out again and this time I realized that she was in fact not in her room but my br...

Nilipokutazama ukitabasamu niliduwaa Mapenzi tele rohoni Ah! Lo kipigo moyoni yanitoa jasho konde mie yupi huyu aliyeniduwaa?? Usiku kucha si lali Sili wala siwezi Kukana jinsi ninavyo hisi Na tamani kukupapasa Labda pia kukubusu Ah! Lo kipigo moyoni yanitoa jasho konde mie yupi huyu aliyeniduwaa?

My mother had lots and lots of gardens at the house we grew up in. Among others, there was a special rose garden that we were banned from since we always stomped our way through causing havoc, picking out all the flowers. Also, the thorns sucked so we were happy to settle for admiring them through the dining room windows while having breakfast each morning before school. She also had these amazing rock gardens which we invaded. They were great for playing in ….there was also a brilliant Nandi Flame tree that had awesome flowers and dropped these amazing orange seeds we collected for absolutely no reason at all…. the pepper trees were great but one always ran the risk of a fat hairy caterpillar falling plop on your head(depends on how bad one wanted to swing really) and the avocado tree which we climbed up to spy on the neighbor's kids (this was before we discovered MONEY and that we could harvest and sell the avocado's at the market but that is another story). Waaaaay before I ...

I recall brief moments of panic when my mother remembered half way through her shoping that she left the car unlocked when we parked in the streets of Nakuru. Mad rush paying getting change of mostly a penny or shilling because everything in Nakuru cost something-and-90 cents or something-and-9 shillings at the end to give you some (very) false impression of a discount. Reaching the car poking her head in and looking around shiftily the hawkers and or idlers around reaffirm her, "Mama tulikuangalilia gari." Nothing was pinched thank fully. She promptly tipped them (this is where this parking attendants/ chokoras aka Choko's now in all towns and cities spewed from)…. Needless to say it didn't really matter if you locked the car or not…most times nobody would take anything…And the pickpockets knew you by name and always said hi..they really just targeted  gullible newbies or tourists who just begged to be robbed flashing hundreds of dollars infront of  their eyes... I ...

I am having a great time going through the motions of exercising my democratic right on the 27th of December at the General Elections...the churning's and endless rantings of the wanna-be states-men are at a titillating frenzy... I believe that if I told one of the candidates during a campaign trail to stand on one leg, hop and pull his ear he just might consider it... I am happiest at this time when Kenyans realize just how important their vote is...and just how powerful they actually are when all the sycophantic and pretentious candidates go on their knees to beg...I wish though, Kenyans would realize that they have this power throughout their lives as their approval or disapproval on state issues is the key to the direction we take as nation... I'd say, tone down the drama, learn the policies proposed, make an informed choice and cast your vote holding ransom the succeeding candidate to quit the blame game and fold up their shirts and work diligently with some amount of...

And so I didnt sulk on last Friday at home and decided to go watch the alluring Mbilia Bel... Its official that I have an infatuation on her Share the images.... ~Siki~