Why "Who Can Help Me?" is the Most Urgent Question in Social Justice

'I am a community leader. My phone is always ringing—it is always one crisis after another. My community expects me to have the answers, to be the solution. But when I have been depleted for far too long and running on empty... who can I call? My comrades are just as busy, and the community I serve cannot help me back. So I ask, who can help me?'

This candid question, shared by a courageous activist during a recent session I was leading, hit the virtual room with profound silence. It is the unspoken reality for so many of us in social justice, advocacy, and community work.

We are the healers, the fighters, the supporters. We give, and give, and give... until we have nothing left. One leader described it as 'giving out, out, out' until you are drowning.

For decades, we have been told that burnout is a personal failure. That if we were just stronger, more organised, more passionate, more determined, more more more..then maybe we would not break.

But a recent gathering of feminists, activists, and organisers I facilitated shattered that myth. The key lesson? Healing is not self-indulgence; it's a political act of resistance. And it is the only foundation for a sustainable movement.

Here are a few ideas we uncovered together.

I. From Reactive to Responsive: The Power of Arriving

We began our session not with strategy or action plans, but with a simple grounding practice. There was an invitation to 'arrive'—to find an anchor (our breath, our seat) and consciously release the day's constant pressures and anxieties with an intentional pause and slowing down.

The goal was to shift our energies from a reactive state to a responsive one and to come, body, soul, and mind, to the present moment.

In our work, we are almost always reacting to a crisis, an unjust law, a community member in need. 

This reactive mode is a survival mechanism which is admittedly at times entirely appropriate, but it should not be the only go-to. Survival mode is exhausting, and it keeps us from thinking clearly. By taking just three minutes whenever possible throughout the day to find our anchor, we create a sliver of spaciousness. We move from panic to presence.

As one affirmation reminded us, "You are not defined by your circumstance." This simple act of pausing is the first step in reclaiming our agency.

II. The Continuum of Care: From 'How Do I Survive?' to 'How Do We Thrive?'

The most powerful framing we explored was the 'continuum of care,' and to better demonstrate this, we looked at the work of two real-world organisations.

Part 1: The 'Survival' Question

One organisation, working with survivors of human trafficking in a major U.S. city, grounds its work by grappling with this one question: 'How do I survive?'

They use a "triad of support":

1. Immediate Safe Housing: The first priority.

2. Stability & Healing: Access to trauma-informed counselling.

3. Livelihood: Job training and financial independence.

The lesson is simple but profound: You cannot heal if you are not safe. You cannot process trauma if you are worried about where you will sleep. For our movements, this means care isn't just a yoga class; it's ensuring our people have their basic needs met.

Part 2: The 'Resilience' Question

A second organisation in the U.S. asks the follow-up question: 'What comes after survival?'

This land-based healing cooperative, run by and for Black and indigenous activists, has a revolutionary model. They fundraised to buy a large farm, creating a sanctuary for organisers to heal from the historical and intergenerational trauma that fuels their work.

They call this 'Healing for the Healers.'

This is a radical re-imagining of care. 

It is not just about surviving the next crisis; it’s about healing the original wounds. 

It is structural, communal, and deeply connected to the pursuit of justice. It shows us a path from individual survival to collective resilience.

This is how we cultivate 'communities of care. ' It is the group's responsibility to create a culture where everyone can thrive. It is how we handle conflict, make decisions, support each other through trauma, and share the load. 

It moves care from an individual burden to a shared value.

III. 'Hurt People Hurt People': Why Our Movements Are Collapsing

Let us be honest. Many of our organisations and movements are unhealthy and hostile. They replicate the very same oppressive structures we are trying to dismantle. Why?

Because, as the saying goes, 'hurt people hurt people.'

When we do not address our own burnout and trauma, we bring it into our work. We become territorial, short-tempered, and suspicious. We create tension and conflict. We mistake our comrades for our enemies. Unresolved trauma erodes the foundation of our movements.

This is why healing is not a 'soft' or 'secondary' issue. It is a core strategic priority. 

The fact is that a movement that burns out its people is, by definition, unsustainable.

IV. Building Your 'Care Toolbox' (And it's Not Just Therapy)

So, what can we do? The 'who can help me?' question still hangs in the air.

The answer we found was two-fold: we need a personal care and well-being 'toolbox' and an intentional evolution to foster a 'culture of care.'

(i) The Personal 'Toolbox'. Not everyone has access to or interest in, say, contemporary therapy. Therefore, the care toolbox must be relatable, contextualised, and relevant to support our healing and well-being. It must be diverse; some of the tools, modalities, and practices could coexist with those from our indigenous traditions or be borrowed from others. 

In a powerful short film, we saw how women's organisations in a Latin American country integrate care with no budget:

• Movement: One group of women simply meets every evening on weekdays to jog, stretch, and get their bodies moving together, creating a space of joy and affirmation.

• Storytelling: Another group, led by formerly incarcerated women, uses 'the word' (oral tradition) to share stories, building trust through shared experience.

• Nature & Art: Other tools include walking in nature, journaling, or drawing.

(ii) Fostering a 'Culture of Care' This is the group's responsibility. It is the 'oxygen mask' rule: you must put your own mask on first before helping anyone else.

• The Sacred 'No': One participant shared the power of learning to say 'no' as a complete sentence, setting boundaries to protect her energy.

• Buddy Systems: A practical idea for organisations to ensure no one is struggling alone.

Intentional Check-ins: Starting meetings with a genuine 'how are you'—and actually waiting for the answer.

V. Forging New Paths Forward

The journey of an activist is often a painful one. We may start as victims, but we fight and reclaim ourselves to become survivors, and then we step up to reclaim our power, becoming leaders in our own right. But the journey does not end there.

The final step is resilience.

Our time together with this fantastic group of community organisers and activists was a powerful reminder that we are not alone in this struggle. 

By learning from our comrades' siblings around the world, we can start to weave a new culture and a new era—one where our well-being is not the price we pay for justice, but the very source of our power to achieve it.

Our work is hard, but it does not have to be harmful.

I will leave you with the same questions we are now grappling with:

• What is one thing in your 'personal care toolbox' that you rely on?

• How can your organisation, team, or movement begin to build an authentic 'culture of care'?