Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Flowers for Mama - Happy Birthday




Weeks before my mother’s birthday were always exciting. When she was alive I would rustle up my school allowance and get together a corny gift…mostly some cheap colorful costume jewelry that didn’t look as tacky as it did when I left the “no refunds store.”

I most always made a card because I would have used everything that I had on the cheap gift and have nothing left for a nice card and gift wrapping paper. For those who know me, my art sucked more than my taste in costume jewelry so in a sense what I really only had to offer my mother was the thought behind it. I loved her fiercely and found her to be the single most beautiful person in the world.

It’s been a while since I let myself think of her.

How she never let me wear make up till I was 16 and a half and even then only let me wear kohl on my eyes and dark lipstick. Even now, it’s the only make up I can get on my face.

I miss how she taught me to knit, crochet and appreciate all the flowers around me….She read my mind like an open book…

I miss all the advice that I split between taking for granted or just resenting.

Even in her dark sick days, she was there for me….even when I was a whiny annoying spoilt brat she still tucked me in bed and kissed me… hugged me after a rough day at school…the things that mothers do…

It’s her birthday on Monday, and I am really not sure where mothers go when they die. I do hope that she is at peace and knows that we love her and miss her.

I miss her and love her. Terribly so.

And if I had a chance to tell her anything I would like to say that:

I draw much better than I did 20 years ago… and have acquired much better taste in beads and would have picked out something really special for her birthday…and I cant seem to stop taking pictures of all these flowers around me.. I know how much she loved flowers and how much that passion rubbed off on me when we spent hours in her garden…I hope that one day if I get to see her again, I can show her all the lovely flowers I came across and how beautiful they looked…

But most of all I wish that I could tell her that, no flower in this world will ever be as radiant and beautiful as she was…

I miss you mum.

Happy Birthday

Love

Your baby

~Me~


No comments: