Love Lessons for the Decade…

self-portrait, 2019

What a year, many highs many lows and so so so many things to be so grateful about. Quite a coincidence that a lot of my pause and reflection moments are at the tail end of the year...I just wanted to share with you some of the musings I have been pondering about...particularly on this radical idea around Love...

Love needs understanding... cultivating an understanding of oneself.. one’s desires and extending this to our beloved; an ardent pursuit of learning their needs, their passions and easing of their suffering. Love should  bring joy and everyone is worthy of experiencing happiness. 

Love led me to recognise that it is not always the case that one is within reach in day-to-day life with our beloved. Their absence does not ever lessen the immense Love that exists in our hearts. 

One of the most difficult things I am still grappling with is the awareness of the deep hurts we rack up inter-generationally, over our life and times and over our experiences. Loaded with the strain of pain, it is so important remain planted and armed with clarity, calmness and resilience to see ourselves morph the situation. We cannot be smothered by the hurts if we have kindness in and around us.... it is therefore conceivable to experience Love, draw joy and feel actual happiness within our lifetimes if we should so want to.

Part of my intention and hope as we close the decade is to simply chase for joy.....I hope to find and soak myself with joy infused with peace and contentment. I aspire to be happy when I see others happy... and (not but) to prioritise the importance of my own happiness. My joy is important as it will allows me to see and feel the joy in others. We all deserve Love.

I am more aware now to be intentional on fostering the deep desire to live in calm safety... and to enjoy each moment life gifts me even the difficult ones. I want to kindle Love for self and learn to treat myself with gentleness. I am worthy of it.  I seek to melt away my inner pain which manifests as anger, mental and physical frailty and some deep rooted fears.... I want to focus more to generate Love and to transform and heal myself and then radiate this to others.....I have been fortunate to be on a path that encourages me to take pause, breathe, be contemplative and view situations more roundedly...I am moving towards nurturing the kind of Love that is free of baggage and clinginess...

A profound lesson from my favourite teacher Thích Nhat Hhan quotes,

“Without upeksha (equanimity) your love may become possessive. A summer breeze can be very refreshing; but if we try to put it in a tin can so we can have it entirely for ourselves, the breeze will die. Our beloved is the same. She is like a cloud, a breeze, a flower. If you imprison her in a tin can, she will die. Yet many people do just that. They rob their loved one of her liberty, until she can no longer be herself. They live to satisfy themselves and use their loved one to help them fulfil that. That is not loving; it is destroying. You say you love a person, but if you do not understand her aspirations, her needs, her difficulties, she is in a prison called love....”

What absolute wisdom. We often treat the ones we Love the most unkindly, we bruise them...and it is really because we carry hurt and are blinded by the suffering and feel the need to pass it on...We play games of the mind and gamble with the feelings of others....This only causes our wounds to fester and more of us will anguish. There is no reprieve on our pain if we cause harm to others.... So perhaps today is the day we take the first step in embodying the energy of Love within ourselves. Filling the self with Love and letting it thrive and spread around flowing freely and infinitely. But it has to start with self.

Practicing Love is a process of learning and living life.... I hope the time gives me (and you) an opportunity to practice en-joy-ing it...wishing you all a joy-filled 2020.... may your experiences be transformative, healing and filled with contentment.

~ I am Loved - YOU are Loved ~

~ I am enough .....YOU are EVERYTHING ~